Am I feeling Piece of Mind?

So yesterday I noticed that my nails are growing. That may mean nada to regular folk but to me it means I am in control.

I am in control. I got some last night...and climaxed...and feel like we are going to make it, financially and emotionally.

can I exhale? yes...(thats sounds so cliche still) but that is how I am feeling. I feel like I have my house in control and I am liking me.

AND I want to be 30-40 lbs lighter this time next yr.

yeah yeah I know everyone says that.

I am also going to start project 365. for me that means I am going to take a pic everyday and see how that inspires me and keeps my finger on the shutter button.

I still am having a hard time thinking of what I should be doing when I am not cleaning. Pursuing something fun sounds odd. But I will keep trying to get there.

Hopefully with the new year I can add images of my project.

I also want to volunteer. doing what...tba.

I am excited for 2010...the me in me is appearing!

BeME

Yeah I Didn't Feel Bad After I Checked FB.

HOO-HOO. Yes as weird as it may sound whenever I checked my fb page..I felt awkward! like my life was less than others.

BUT...

Today I didnt feel that way!! I can't explain why, maybe its because I am accepting my life, and all of its good and bad.

I know I am a photographer...(k it helps that I saw aomeone else's pics who I thought was good and they're aiiiight. LOL)

I know I'm a mom and wife who is devoted to their life and happiness.

Yet another xmas gift to me....

beme

I think I Got My Xmas Gift.

I complain and think about how life might be better with my dh in it. I think someday I may have a novel about everything he has put me through.

But,

It took another man's "leading" conversation to convince me that my dh will always be my spouse.

I spoke to an old friend from my past and he started to flirt with me which was a little uncomfortable and I literally cut him off and hung up.  But this made me realize that despite EVERYTHING, my heart belongs to my dh. He might be so incredibly imperfect, but he fits me. I cant explain in any more detail except that I know I could never be with anyone else.

I have needed that kind of reassurance...for years.

I feel that now, and somehow someway I will get him to show more and be more loving, but i know I love him and I had lost that.  But I found him and whenever I feel I lost again I think I will remember that panic that came in and brought my love out.

beme.